A change of attitude

Today I went to my primary doctor for a follow up visit from my ER visit. You may remember the little “mishap” I had on New Year’s Day. It has left my left leg constantly elevated for the last week.

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At this visit we learned that my injuries are much worse than we first anticipated. My doctor is pretty sure that I have a broken bone(s) in my foot. The bruising leads her to believe that it is much more than a typical sprain. She is also concerned about the possibility of torn ligaments. Once she mentioned her discovery my head started to spin.

I knew it wasn’t healing as quickly I thought it should, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. When she told me it would be at least 8 weeks before I could drive, walk, and even longer to run, I started to cry. Running has been my outlet. It has been my “freedom.” I had planned to run in at least 3 races at some point during this year. One of which is in a few months. I am plus sized and I run slow, but I run and I enjoy it. Just the day before my mishap I purchased new running shoes. This news hurt.

As I waited to get more x-rays of my ankle an employee came over to give me my military ID. She noticed my tears and asked why I was crying. I mentioned my frustration over my inability to drive or run for at least 2 months. She came around and started to tell me about her bout with chemotherapy. She told me that she has to be happy every day, even if she has to find a reason to be happy. She proceeded to tell me that she was not going to leave until she saw me smiling and my “green eyes light up.” She reminded me that God gave me reasons to be happy, and that my pain was going to be temporary.

Ouch.

I was being schooled by a woman with cancer. My injuries may take up to a year to fully heal, she has been trying for sever years to heal from hers. And she may never recover.

Ouch.

I was still in mental and physical pain, but her cheerful attitude did not leave me. I mulled over it even as tears found their way down my eyes again. When I opened Facebook I found the words from Lysa TerKeurst “God, whatever my circumstances, I will find reasons to praise You. Even when I feel disappointed by what life brings, I will trust You to bring good out of bad. ”

I can see what God is doing here. He is reminding me that I can find joy even when things happen that are not part of *my* plan.

How ironic I discover this after an injury that happens on the day we discuss our “JOY” goals of the year. Every year on New Year’s Day we discuss our goals to serve J- Jesus, O-Others, Y-yourself. This year I truly want to find joy in EVERY circumstance. I want to be thankful in EVERY thing.

For the next 8 weeks as I wear this cast (or whatever cast ends up on my left foot), I am going to document the joy I find that day. It may be small and simple, or it may be monumental. Either way, I will find joy and praise Him.

Today I found joy in a kind stranger whose only goal was to bring me joy and remind me to find joy everyday. Thank you Patricia, I am praying for you and your cancer journey.

Updated: January 8, 2014 — 10:21 pm
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