Just for starters, I never once said that this would be easy or I would be exceptionally good at this. This is hard. Ugh. I am trying hard, oh so hard to do all the right things and not take any short cuts, but there comes a time when you have to survive. I am embarrased to say I have sucombed to turning the DVD player on in the van just to have some silence. I have to nurse the twins a lot, most of the time when we leave the house for any given activity I have to nurse them at least once, if not twice. During this time the big kids are (understandably) bored. Despite my suggestions to do things such as sing a song, count cars etc, the older two always seem to find themselves pushing each others buttons. The seemingly innocent touch on a arm turns into screams and hair pulling. All the while I am trying to descretly nurse a very hungry baby. I start reminding them to use words (ask your brother nicely to stop grabbing your arm please), then I give a reminder (you need to make good choices or you will have X consequences) and finally I find myself yelling – something I don’t like to admitt (“GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF YOUR BROTHER NOW!!!!”). I find that I can just bypass that entire conversation (or at least the latter two) if I just pop in a DVD for the 20 minutes it takes me to nurse the twins. Hey, at least I put on something G rated and wholesome like Veggie Tales. So, there you go, a confession from me, an imperfect mom of 4.