I’ve come to a realization

thanks to a friend of mine, Claire. For years now I have felt guilty about having more than the average “2.5” kids. We have 4. I have gotten comments from people about having our “hands full,” been told that “2 is enough,” asked why we would want more when we already had a girl and a boy, etc. It was almost like there is some unwritten rule in society that tells us all that 2 kids is this magic number that you are supposed to have and if you steer around it then there must be something wrong.
Perhaps the same cult responsible for brainwashing me into homeschooling our children has brain washed me into having twice the “normal” amount of children in my family. Though doubtful.
Simply put, I have wanted 4 children since I too was a child. Period. Not because I thought a house full of children would guarantee me happiness. Not because I wanted to be sure someone would take care of us in our old age. Not because I was addicted to babies. I just thought 4 was a good number of children and I felt lead to have that many. Period.
My mom felt that 2 was a good number and it worked for her. Brian’s parents had 3 children and it worked for them. My grandparents had 4 and it worked for them..so on and so forth.
Today when I checked my message boards (of mom’s who also had a child in April 2006) I came across an interesting discussion. Another mother was asking about what it was like to have 3 or more children. The conversation kind of drifted towards knowing when you were done having children and how did we know. Claire, the above mentioned friend, said “Why is two the magic number for the “right” amount of kids anyway?” and it hit me. What she said is so true!
If you feel lead to have 2 children, then great. If you don’t feel lead to have any, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Why is it that we all feel some pressure to have this magic number of children? As if we are a “real American perfect family” only if you have this magic number of children. Have I mentioned that Claire has ONE child? So the pressure & guilt is there for couples who have just one child as well.
So all this to say, my guilt has been dissipating since this revolution. And just because I feel much better about our choice to have more than the average 2.5 children does not mean that we plan on having any more. Brian is still going to get his {SECOND thank you very much Madigan Army Medical Center} vasectomy as we both still feel that 4 children is what our family was meant to have. And we will enjoy all 4 of our children with out any guilt or feelings like any of our amazing children should not be here. We are thankful for each one, thankyouverymuch!

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Updated: May 23, 2010 — 7:06 am
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