The post I keep starting in my head

The title sounds a bit off, but it is the only way I can describe it {without being too lengthy}.

Here I sit at Panera Bread. Across from me is a window. Outside I see rain and gray. Today’s scene is no different from any other day here in WA. In fact on average, 10 months (approximately 290 days) out of the year it is reported that we have gray clouds. Most of those days we have rain. I am sure you are well aware that there are 12 months in the year, which leaves us with approximately 75 days left in a year. Those are our sunshine days. While it may not seem like a big deal, and to me at first it did not, it is.

Yes, we get out. We have a nice supply of rain jackets and cute rain boots.


And Crocs have been fabulous for jumping in rain puddles.


But sunshine gracing our face is what we really need. The warmth from the sun is missed. Day after day of rain have left us inside more than we would like. Playing soccer in a wet yard just isn’t my favorite thing to do.

Have you ever tried mowing a wet yard of grass? Yeah, not fun at all. My skin’s once golden tones are now pasty and white. My golden honey colored hair is now dark and now thanks to a Vitamin D deficiency very sliver streaked. Did I mention that a deficiency in Vitamin D can lead to hindering weight loss? Yeah, there is my missing link.

All of those things are annoying, but really it is the gloom that I have found myself in the last several months that brings me down. There, I said it. I haven’t been my normal happy self and I don’t like it. It blows my mind that something like a big ol’ ball of fire can change my mood.

When I find myself stressfully rushing around to get the kids out of the house in a hurry so we have time to run around and enjoy the sunshine, I get irritated. When I feel like we have to get out of the house and do something, ANYTHING outdoors just because the sun is out for that day, it frustrates me.

This is a beautiful place to live. There is an abundance of things to do here. But at what cost? Am I willing to live in a place that has a lot to offer, but not the environment to enjoy it? Am I willing to drag my kids through my crummy mood and lack of motivation so I can say I can “handle” the rain. Sorry friends, but I am not. I was all for staying here. Despite my talk of Texas sunshine, this past winter I told my {very-patient-with-my-ever-so-changing-mind} husband that I would be ok staying here. By February I knew I had SAD and if I wanted to feel like myself again and actually enjoy my day to day life, then I needed to live in a place with more sunshine.

Through lots of prayer and consideration a position became available and Brian accepted it. The position, an NCO (leadership) position at Fort Hood. Fort Hood is an Army base in Killeen TX, just over an hour away from where I grew up.

I know that our move this fall (September to be exact) won’t be the end all be all for all of my life’s problems. I know that we won’t suddenly be millionaires, my kids will still {occasionally} fight, the twins are still 2-year-olds and we will still be uncool parents who drive a wannabe red hot mini-van. And yes, I know that it gets hot there. Very hot. I also know that my kids will be outside swimming in April and probably up until October. We will all feel the sunshine on our faces, during more than 75 days out of the year. My side of the family will just be 1-2 hours away. Live music will be an abundance. All of the festivals I envisioned taking my kids to will be just down the road. And when it gets too hot, I will have an air conditioned house waiting for me.

Updated: June 6, 2010 — 10:45 pm
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