We had a hard talk today

It was a hard talk. I don’t mean to keep bringing the mood down around here. But, I have to be honest. It hasn’t exactly been daisies and roses around here. No mention of unicorns and puppy dogs. Not exactly rainbows either. And yes, this is kinda embarrassing, but sometimes the atmosphere has been pretty darn tense. I don’t come on here to air our dirty laundry and gossip about our personal relationships. I come here to share the {sometimes messy} life of our family.

Brian and I have been going through the motions of married family life. Over the last 13.5 years we have had a great relationship and have worked through things thrown our way, with a lot of help from prayer. We kinda haven’t been praying enough lately. Our little disagreements have been left unsettled. Ouch. A tiny annoyance has turned into a day of grouchiness. Blushing. This has turned into sour moods with the kids. Oh my. They have then turned angry at each other. Ugh. Which then, in turn, has made me even more grouchy. Double Ouch.

The poop hit the fan today and I felt like we had all had enough. I realized that the kids have been arguing more than usual lately so I worked on a positive reinforcement system that had been working *WONDERFULLY* up until today, for some odd reason. When we were out and about today, Vincent was quite a bit more obnoxious than usual which caused a stir…twice. The whole way home I was pretty upset. I couldn’t smile if you paid me to.

We got home, made and ate lunch, picked up a bit and all the while my head was swimming. I, actually we, have had a lot on our minds lately and it was really affecting us in a big way.

One big thing that has really been on our minds, Grandad, Jim (Brian’s dad). Last week he was put into a nursing home. This happened two days before he and Grandma, Peggy’s, wedding anniversary. This was right after he was diagnosed with Pneumonia. An Alzheimer’s patient with Pneumonia is not a happy thing.

So after the twins went down for a nap I sat down with the big kids and talked about how I had been grouchy, how Mommy and Daddy had been grouchy to each other, how this affected the kids, so on and so forth. I then listened as they told me how this made them feel, it was heartbreaking. After apologizing, I began to share with them what had been on Brian’s and my mind. I told them – point blank – that it made us sad and mad and confused. I also explained that sometimes this made us grouchy and hard to talk to each other.

Once I felt that they understood why we were acting differently I told them that our love for everyone hasn’t changed. I reassured them that we still loved one another (Brian and I) and we loved all of our children just the same as well. Once they had that load taken off of their shoulders I could tell them a little more about Grandad and explain how his current “sickness” is changing everyone elses lives. The kids talked with me about how medicine would help and stuff like that. It was neat to hear their thoughts and ideas about how they could help. Kenniston piped up “When I am an adult I want to go to the doctor’s and put some nutrients in some medicine and give it to Grandad so his body isn’t sick any more.” She also said that God knew how to make medicine to make him better, which was a great segway into praying for Grandad.

I am so thankful that I had enough peace & calm to sit down and talk with them. I knew that my attitude has not been that wonderful lately & I could tell that they were definitely being affected by how we were all acting. It was a good reminder at how we need to continuously pray, even when you can’t pay us to smile.

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While I talked with the kids I realized how pleased I was that we were able to help out while we visited Grandma and Grandad recently. It helped the kids realize how important it is to help others. As we talked about how Grandma had more work to do now that Grandad was “sicker” Kenniston said “OH, we helped Grandma when we visited her. We helped her in her garden.” I pray that we are continually able to help others out even when we are still sad and mad and confused.

Updated: June 16, 2010 — 3:47 am

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